His Story
Willis was born in California at Travis Air Force Base. His dad was in the Air Force, that's the reasoning behind him being born at a base. Anyhow, he almost died when he was born because his mother took pain medication only hours before he came out. Many have speculated that Willis was dropped on his head..this is not the case at all. This traumatic experience can be blamed for at least most of his early problems. For five years Willis lived in peace and quiet. A childhood of glory. Playing Atari and Hide and Go Seek. And watching Sesame Street. Willis was also very much obsessed with dinosaurs. Willis liked Elmo before Elmo was cool. He didn't need some cheap toy to put Elmo over in HIS mind. This time of happiness came to an end however, when Willis's mother and father were divorced. Willis, his older sister, and his mother drove across the country to South Carolina to live in his grandparents' summer home until they could find a house to live in full time. After about a month I guess, we moved into the new house, which meant I would no longer attend Waccamaw Elementary. I remember Waccamaw well. They brought the lunch to us. THEY BROUGHT THE LUNCH TO US MAN!! And they had little eagles or something with our names on them so as to we would know which was ours. And every so often they had chocolate milk which made Willis smile. Willis went there to finish pre-school I believe, then moved to Surfside where I would be sent to Socastee Elementary. Socastee was a less glorious atmosphere than that of Waccamaw. Willis did not mind though, as he enjoyed the easy going atmosphere...or something. Anyway, when he was in first grade, Willis was in like special classes for stupid kids. He remembers the day that the teacher lady told him he would not be coming anymore. See what I figure is that they looked at Willis and figured he was so stupid looking he HAD to be in this class. Unfortunately they later found out that he was in fact much smarter than almost all the other students in the school. Willis went to the YMCA after school...not the actual YMCA but this little program a bunch of kids who were too young to stay home alone went to till there parents could pick them up. It was pretty fun. A lot of my friends were in it. My best friend Alex Salmon, Chad Bernard, and a bunch of other people I don't remember. This was the time in Willis's life that the Ninja Turtles began to break on to the scene. The first Ninja Turtle figure Willis ever got was Napolean Bonafrog. He was like a surfing frog. Then he got Rocksteady and after that all of the Turtles and then Shredder or something. Anyway he had lots of turtles figures. Fourth grade was when the X-Men took over. Willis had many X-Men figures and even more cards. He was quite a fan. Once he cried when the show on Fox was not shown and instead they showed In the Heat of the Night. Since that day Willis has hated everyone and anyone involved with that show(yeah screw you Archie Bunker). Elementary school was quite a time for Willis because he had it so easy. Everything came naturally to him. He would almost always have first pick of the litter as to what toys to play with, because he would finish ahead of the rest of the class constantly. In 5th grade Willis was voted the smartest kid in the class, an honor he was glad to accept. His new found glory would not last long however, as Willis hit middle school. He was not ready I don't believe for middle school...anyway. Sixth grade was actually quite a happy experience. Aside from the fact that he went from being constantly the smartest kid in the class to one of the average students, he was happy. Oh yeah, I used to always win the races on field day in elementary school. 1st grade I won. 2nd grade I tied with somebody. 3rd grade I won. 4th grade I won. And in fifth grade I got like 5th place. That was a real bad time. I think it showed that I had peaked in those years between 1st and 4th grade. Back to middle school. 6th grade was cool. 7th grade was not a happy year for Willis. At this point, Willis is still considered a successful student and a bad grade on his report card is unheard of. Well with both Mrs. Wiggum and Mrs. Rea, Willis was doomed. Twice he received D's in Rea's class. See Willis's mom was crazy and she broke all his stuff one day when he got a D. This freaked Willis out bigtime. He was not allowed to watch tv until he brought up his grades. This was a tactic that his mother would use several more times before the time this story catches up to the present. Anyway, 8th grade was not that bad. Willis fell into a new group of friends in 8th grade that called itself "Us". Really a very stupid idea looking back on it, so I'm glad that I had no part in the concieving or maintaining of the concept. Willis did pretty good in 8th grade so his mom was fairly happy. The only class he didn't get B's in was freakin Triad. I don't know if they still called it Triad then but it was really dumb and we had to do projects all the time. Projects are not Willis's idea of a good time as he constantly failed them and was never good at them...ever...ever. I think he felt like they were a waste of time because the only projects he was assigned were on subjects that made no difference whatsoever in his life. Anyway, Willis did not want to go to high school so much. He recalled a statement that one of the janitors, or maybe he was a security guard...anyway, he remembered a statement that this guy at St. James Middle told him. He calmly remarked to Willis and one of his friends that "You gonna get yo ass kicked in high school." This really freaked Willis out. Fortunately for Willis, this was no more than a crazy remark from a crazy man. High school came around and Willis went on with life as normal. He was in all these AP smart classes and actually did fairly well. He had around a B average for a while which at the time was not so great but looking back, was fantastic. 9th grade was when Willis was subjacated to pro wrestling. Yeah it's pretty shocking that in only a few short years has he become so completely obsessed with something. Actually it didn't take very long at all. Anyway, Willis was once like many of you people reading this. He said that wrestling was fake and that's all there was to it. But after actually sitting down and watching he liked it and began to get more and more involved in it. By the end of this year he and his friends would compete in their own wrestling matches. Usually done inside of a garage with a big matress or in Mike Tanner's backyard. They really sucked. So Willis passed 9th grade. Oh yeah after 8th grade he was forced to go to computer camp at Francis Marion. It was wierd because Willis's roomate was really wierd...he actually made Willis feel scared sometimes. He had all these books on Norse mythology, that freaked Willis out. He talked about liking going into girls dreams and raping them or something...I dunno what he said but somehow it couldn't really be considered rape and it involved some kind of spiritual superpower that no normal man could ever achieve. Anyway Willis is in 10th grade. 10th grade was pretty much the downfall of Willis's academic life. He basically failed a lot of classes. He got out of AP. He had Leach....he had Karpinski....it was not a good year. He got a little better at wrestling but not much. 10th grade was not a real good year..or a forgettable one anyway. Now Willis is in 11th grade. He had Leach again. Passed with a 70. That's pretty much it...check out Willis's Ramblings if you liked this...it's pretty much the same thing except much more of a waste of time.